Do you feel like your child is constantly disregarding what you tell them or arguing over every direction you give them?
The daily responsibilities that come with being a parent can become tiring and stressful, which is why it can be a challenge to maintain structure and routine for your children. Oftentimes you may be going through life so fast that you forget to explain to your children ‘why’ rules are made and their benefits.
Take a look at your life, do you feel that you are taken care of and are emotionally well? If the answer is “no” then your parenting is being impacted by your emotional state. Oftentimes when we are not taken care of, our parenting is reactive.
Meaning that we are passively parenting, not positive parenting.
Example:
Passive Parenting: “You are not allowed to go outside”.
Positive Parenting: “You need to let me know when you want to play outside. It’s important for me to know where you are, so that I can keep you safe.”
Positive Parenting is an approach that focuses on being more responsive than reactive. It encourages parents to show encouragement and consistency in their responses through being present in interactions with their children.
Here are some ways in which positive parenting encourages a child’s positive development and self-growth:
- Providing boundaries and consequences
- Children learn how to be responsible and accountable for their actions.
- Being Warm and democratic
- Boost child’s self-esteem and confidence.
- Being supportive and optimistic
- Encourages positive actions, helps child's academic and extracurricular performance.
- Modeling emotional intelligence
- Teaches children how to manage and cope with overwhelming emotions.
- Listening to your child
- Improves bond between child and parent, while also encourages them to listen to you.
Positive Parenting After Separation or Divorce:
Often, co-parenting isn’t without its set of conflicts. After all, usually, an individual is no longer with their partner due to their different beliefs and values. So naturally, we likely focus on what the other individual is doing “wrong”, instead of focusing on what is going, “right”. When it comes to co-parenting it is important to try and focus on what is working, and then respectfully communicating what isn't working.
Here are some ways to practice positive parenting while co-parenting:
- Have clear boundaries
- Establish boundaries with co-parent and recognize what you have control over.
- Willingness to be flexible
- Be accommodating with one another.
- Have a schedule
- Having a solid routine allows for parents to be able to count on each other.
- If there is a change, talk to one another
- Parents who have a healthy co-parenting relationship make an effort to communicate with one another first.
Some E.L.O. Deck cards that can help when you feel like you might not be practicing positive parenting :
- I am loved
- I rest to do my best
- I am responsible for my actions
- I am curious and I ask questions
- my friends and family need me
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